Friends

so the ambulance

i just got my EMR (emergency medical responder, im not a paramedic by any stretch of the imagination) which lets me do more things on car than what i previously would have been able to do. that was a stressful time in my life, doing my full time job, studying and doing the course. im glad its over and i learnt alot and have alot of great new skills, still though im not overly happy with my performance in the final scenarios (final exam was a written and two scenarios one medical like stroke or heart attack and one trauma like a stab wound to the chest or broken leg) i know that im totally new to any of this and its going to take a lot longer to figure it all out than the amount of time ive had so far, but i still feel disappointed in myself. im beginning to wonder if i made the right choice in going for this, being able to make decisions on the go. im really good at being told what to do, you need this i can do that, you want that, its on its way and thats what its going to be for a while. but still, theres something in the back on my mind screaming at me telling me to quit.

its probably just my own self doubt and fear (what did you get that tattoo for right?) and i will probably look back on this in a year, when i do my annual read through, and laugh because im actually leading the calls and training some newbie. but sitll. you know?

i also got my drivers license upgrade that lets me drive the ambulance. thats pretty cool, if all i ever did from now on was drive the ambulance i would be pretty impressed with myself.